Brit, 16
Our first call for an emergency placement was for Brit. She was 16, and the Placement Desk could not give us a lot of initial information about who she is or what the circumstances were for her needing a placement immediately, but stated that it does not sound like their were any behaviors or major issues that would make it a difficult placement. It was a Friday, we were off for the weekend, and we felt that we could swing it. We asked Trevor what he thought about having a 16-year old girl live with us for a few days, and before we could finish asking, he said “say yes”. We did. Then the Placement Desk called back to see what our final decision was, and provide some additional information about Brit and her circumstances.
According to DHS, Brit was a run away who had run from numerous placements, has been homeless for the past few months, smokes cigarettes and uses marijuana. The Placement Desk seemed shocked about the cigarettes and marijuana use, and gave us every opportunity to back out. Those “behaviors” were not what we were worried about… we were petrified about her tendency to run away. What would we do if she bolted during the night? They suggested “let her run and call the police”. Not exactly a comforting response. We said yes, for the weekend.
She arrived around dinner time, and was anxious but courteous. Trevor was eager to show her his room and tell her how great the home was. He had picked up on our fear that she might try and leave when we weren’t looking, and it felt like he was doing his best to convince her that this was a safe home. It was pretty ironic and hilarious since when Trevor is escalated, one of his first reactions is to say the he is going to run away. After Brit was settled in, we decided to go out to dinner, and just have a moment to sit and get to know each other. This is when we heard Brit’s perspective on who she was and how she got to where she is… our house.
According to Brit, and corroborated through info from DHS, Brit’s mother had her as a teenager, and was not able to care for her, so she was raised by her grandma, who she refers to as mom. Her grandma had her mom, when she was a teenager. We mention this to let you know how young grandma was (early 50’s at most), and how the cycle can continue. Brit entered care about a year before being placed with us, because her grandma passed away unexpectedly from illness, and her step-grandfather than decided he was not able to care for Brit, and kicked her out. That is when she entered care. She was placed in residential housing, which she described as “jail” for kids, because there were no families who wanted a 15 year-old girl. She ran from the institution, and was caught, and then shipped from Portland to Roseburg, about 6-hours away, to be in a lockdown facility. She ran from that “jail” and hitched rides back to Portland where she had been living on the couches of friends for about 6-months.
One weekend turned into nearly two weeks. She was independent, received bus passes from her CW, and did her best to abide by our and DHS’s rules while in our home. She did some sneaking around, but not because she was a deceitful person, it felt more like she just didn’t think she could trust anyone. We were scared to death she would leave during the night, or take a bus somewhere in the morning and never come back, but it didn’t happen. It seemed that she felt comfortable in our home, and appreciated our understanding and empathy of her story. Because of our age, while she was with us, we felt more like older siblings than parents, but at least we had a connection and could talk. She left our home after nearly two weeks to return to a girl’s home, to complete her schooling. It was quite the introduction to emergency placements.
***This is the second post in a series documenting our experience having emergency placements. A link to other posts in this series is below***
Pt. 6 – Charles, 8 – Alyssa, 2
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