We are well aware that not everybody has the ability or desire to be a foster parent. It definitely is not easy, it is not for everyone, and that is perfectly alright. If foster care is not something your family is equipped to do however, there are still many ways you can help. Here is a list of organizations that go above and beyond to help kids in care and their families, both bio and foster. Please consider donating or volunteering with these groups for #GivingTuesday, or anytime of year for that matter.
This post also contains a list of actionable items that you can do yourself, to support foster families in your community.
Please consider donating to these groups for #GivingTuesday.
1. With Love
With Love has provided an incredible amount of support to our family, it is impossible to put into words just how grateful we are to them. With Love provides supplies to kiddos in care aged 0-5 and their foster families. A foster family with a kiddo in that age range can make a request to With Love, and they will deliver to your house, any of the requested items that they have in their inventory, along with other supplies that you probably need but forgot to ask for. When we took in Sabrina, we made a request for a delivery from With Love, and the same day, when we were not even home, they delivered everything we asked for and more. They even unloaded everything on our back porch for us. Although we received diapers, clothes, toys, and more, the crowning jewel of this delivery was a double jogger, so that one person could take both Ava and Sabrina on a walk during the day, and not be confined to the house. It was simply amazing.
Boxes of Love, just as it sounds, provides a box full of necessities, as well as comfort items to children entering the foster care system. It is impossible to overstate how traumatic a transition into foster care can be for a child, and how impactful a care package can be to a child entering the system. A “box of love” can contain clothes, blankets, toys, and more to help a child entering the system know, that no matter what, they are loved. The program was started by a nurse who witnessed kids leaving her hospital and going straight into foster care. After fostering and adopting her own child, she began the program. Boxes of Love primarily distributes their boxes through Randall Children’s Hospital, Doernbecher Children’s Hospital, St Vincent’s Hospital and Providence Portland Medical Center, to children being discharged from the hospital into care, but With Love also makes deliveries to other kiddos in the system outside of the hospitals listed.
Embrace Oregon is an organization that aims to bridge the gap between the community and DHS, to help children in need. The program provides many avenues of support to bio-parents who are struggling, foster-parents, children in the system, DHS, and the community as a whole. Although Embrace Oregon does provide “welcome boxes” to DHS branches for distribution to children entering the system, in our opinion, the most amazing aspect of this organization is their community outreach. Embrace Oregon aims to create awareness in the community about the foster care crisis in Oregon, and providing information on how individuals and families can help. This can include information sessions regarding how to become a foster parent, along with detailing other avenues to support, including providing respite care, volunteering, or monetary donations. Embrace Oregon is truly trying to engage the community to and rally them to care for the children and families in the system.
On a more personal note, shortly after opening our doors to Trevor and Ariel, we posted on a foster parent community Facebook page, asking for ideas on where to buy clothes for them, without breaking the bank. The kids were in desperate need of clothes because they came with very little, and what they did have was falling apart and too small. A member of the Embrace Oregon team saw our post, and asked if she could bring by clothes for Ariel that were donated to her organization. The box was so big it almost didn’t fit through our front door. The donation included name brand, barely used clothes for Ariel that made her feel pretty and she enjoyed wearing for Thanksgiving.
Toys for Tots has been around for a long time. For a lot of people, the holidays are a joyous time, but for some families living in poverty, and children in foster care, it can be a very difficult time. Toys for Tots helps families and children in need during the holidays by providing brand new toys to children to help brighten their spirits. Toys for Tots partners directly with DHS, and gives foster families an opportunity “shop” for toys for their kiddos. It is important to remember that many Relative Care Provider foster families became foster parents unexpectedly and out of necessity, not necessarily by choice. Unexpectedly raising a child can create a significant financial burden on families, making the holidays a very stressful time. Toys for Tots helps alleviate some of that stress, and helps children and their families have a happy holiday.
The Family Room (TFR) is amazing! We were first introduced to TFR with our first placement, Ava, and are so appreciative of the services and opportunity they provide. Located in a church basement in Northeast Portland (and now with a location in Hillsboro), they provide a space for extended visitations for bio-families with their kiddos… but it is so much more than that. At TFR, bio-parents have visits that are anywhere from 3-5 hrs, the visitations are in a group setting, so there are multiple families at once. The staff, many of whom are volunteers, provide parenting lessons to the bio-parents to set them up for success, as well as monitor and report progress to DHS and foster families. Not only are these extended visits, but nutritious meals are provided, along with group discussions and a support community. It is also a good opportunity for foster parents and bio-parents to interact in a safe and friendly environment. For many bio-parents, the visitations they receive with their children are limited by the visitation room availability and staffing availability at DHS, and even then, these visits often occur in sterile rooms that resemble the classic “interrogation room” in a Law & Order episode. TFR provides a safe, warm, loving atmosphere, along with a sense of community and support, for bio parents, children, and foster parents.
6. Sleep Train
“Not everyone can be a foster parent, but everyone can help a foster kid”. Sleep Train, for as long as we can remember listening to the radio, has been committed to raising awareness about the foster care system and the children in need, and has been organizing collection drives to provide coats, clothes, shoes, toys, and more to children in need.
Alternative Ways to Help
If monetary or gift donations are not in your budget, or just not your style, but you still would like to help children, families, and foster parents in the system, there are numerous ways you can help. Here are a few that come to mind:
1. Respite Care
To become a Respite Care Provider, all you need to do is have all the adults who live in your home complete a background check through DHS. What does this allow you to do? It allows you to provide overnight care to children in care, for up to two-weeks. A night of respite care can provide a foster family a moment to recharge. A weekend of respite care can allow a foster family to recharge and relax. A week or two can allow a foster family to take a vacation.
Respite care can be extremely helpful for foster families experiencing family emergencies, since traveling out of state with a foster child requires a lot of planning and paperwork. Being Respite Care provider and making yourself available to foster families, even if it is just the ones you know personally, can be a great way to help kids and foster families.
2. Volunteer at DHS or Non-Profits
DHS is understaffed, overworked, and has high turn over rates. A lot of times, visits are not scheduled because DHS does not have the staff available to supervise or provide transportation for the children to visits. Other times, children show up for their visits, and their parents do not, and they have nothing to do and no one to be with while waiting at DHS. Sometimes, children come into care, and have to sit in the CW’s cubicle, while they call foster parents and search for a possible placement. Volunteers can help DHS and the children in care by just showing up to play with kids or hold babies in need while DHS does their job. There are numerous other volunteer opportunities at the organizations mentioned above as well, and it can be anything from creating or delivering gift boxes, supervising visits, providing transportation to visits, or sending out mailers.
3. Babysit
A lot of times children in foster care have additional needs or require more support (at least initially) than other children. This is not to say that they are not amazing, wonderful, beautiful, loving kids, it just means that sometimes, foster parents are hesitant to let the 16-year old down the street babysit their foster child. If you don’t want to be a respite care provider, but want to help foster families and children, offering to babysit for foster families is a great way to help.
4. Cook Dinner
The day of, and the days immediately following a placement can be very chaotic. The main goal during these days is to make the children feel safe and loved. This can often leave little time for other things, like cooking dinner. Taking a new placement out to a restaurant in the first few days can often be very overwhelming for the kiddo and the foster parents. A simple gesture, like bringing over pizza or homemade lasagna to a foster family can be an amazing stress reliever. It is just one less thing to worry about. Foster families may also appreciate this support throughout the entirety of the placement, since a lot of kiddos have a very hectic schedule, between visitations, medical appointments, therapy, etc. By providing a dinner to a foster family during a hectic time, it removes one task for the family, and allows the parents to focus on providing the support to their kiddos to be successful.
5. Listen
Being a foster parent and a kiddo in care has its unique challenges. A lot of times, the kiddo and the foster parent just need a safe person to talk to. If you can listen, be supportive, non-judgmental, and understand that this journey can be an emotional roller coaster, then listening can be a huge help to those dealing with and working through the System. Sometimes a foster parent needs to vent. Sometimes a kiddo needs a safe person who is not their foster parent to talk to. Sometimes a foster parent needs to rave about what may seem like a trivial accomplishment or success, but may be a huge milestone in foster care (my child made it through the whole day of school today!). If you can be a friend to a child in care or a foster parent, you can help make the system more successful.
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