Honestly, we are exhausted. We are recovering from the excitement of the holidays, adjusting to going back to school, dealing with the everyday craziness of parenting, and coupling all of this with what feels like an endless barrage of appointments for our kiddos and dealing with DHS. Every night, we are wondering how we are going to make it through the next day.
It feels like every day, Trevor and Ariel find new ways to push our buttons, test our limits, and stretch our patience. In our minds, we know that this is normal behavior for kiddos in foster care, especially those who have experienced trauma, and who feel safe in their foster home, but in the moment, it can be difficult to maintain perspective. They are processing their emotions and trauma, while trying to find the extent of our love and support for them. Luckily for them, our love and support is endless… although Jewell and I often wonder how long we can keep this pace up.Tonight, on our Facebook timeline, we were reminded of a short movie we had seen previously. It is called ReMoved, and is a 12-minute movie told from the perspective of a young girl who is removed from her abusive home and enters foster care. The story is heartbreaking, but unfortunately, it mirrors many of the stories we have heard from caseworkers and foster parents.
Tonight, I am thankful that for whatever reason, Embrace shared ReMoved, and it popped up on our timeline while I was scrolling aimlessly. I needed to see this tonight. Tonight, I was exhausted, irritated, and feeling like I was struggling to just barely keep my head above water. After watching the movie again, I still feel like that, but it helps to keep things in perspective. I can imagine what Trevor and Ariel have experienced in the past, and what they are feeling in our home today, but I cannot comprehend or understand it. No kid should have ever have to go through what kids in foster care go through. Even the best foster home still represents a horrible history for a kiddo.
As foster parents, I believe that we have every right to feel exhausted, frustrated, irritated, and overwhelmed at times. This movie helps us remember that as tough as it can be for foster parents and caseworkers, at the end of the day it pales in comparison to what these kids have lived through, are going through, and will have to live with for the rest of their life. Perspective is everything, and I needed some perspective tonight. It helped me gather just a little bit more energy and patience, to put on a smile, push through the bedtime routine struggle, and give Trevor and Ariel a long “good night” hug.
If you have time, please check out the short film:
Executive producers: Nathanael Matanick, Christina Matanick
Photo: Film Poster for Removed
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