Abram, 5
We were relaxing one Sunday morning, just the two of us, Trevor was at respite. The morning was amazing! We slept in until around 8:30 or so, woke up, sipped coffee, and cleaned the house. That is what respite allows for us, and it is great. Then, because our life is so predictable, our moment of respite was interrupted by a call from the emergency placement desk. A boy, who they thought was seven or eight years old, was found wandering the streets in the early morning during a rain storm. When they called us, DHS was not sure of the boys name. They were pretty certain he was 8-years old, did not speak english, but was from African descent. The police who picked him up brought him to DHS, since the boy was not able to tell them where he lived. The agency then began simultaneously trying to find a placement for him while also trying to find his family to figure out what happened.
When they called us, we didn’t have the opportunity to ask Trevor if it was alright, since he was at respite. Our gut told us that this would truly be short term. Maybe the boy just wandered off while his parents were sleeping and once they find his family he can be returned home with a safety plan. We said he could stay with us for at least the day, and the night if necessary, while they work on locating his family.
When Abram arrived, we immediately knew that DHS has gotten the situation wrong. To us, Abram seemed closer to 5 or 6. His outfit, pajamas and rain boots, told us that he was a large little kid who woke up and wanted to go on an adventure. Over the next few hours, watching him try to interact with our tiny yorkshire terrier dog (that he was scared to death of) and our cat (that he was very interested in), let us know that pets were not part of his culture. Our initial impressions was that he was a 6-year old limited verbal child with autism. He was a handful, but he was fun. He had a bath, didn’t like any of the food we offered him, thought that opening a bag of chips for a snack was too loud, and terrorized our cat and ran in fear of our tiny dog.
DHS set up a call with an interpreter, who spoke multiple African languages, to try and talk to Abram. It was hilarious. Abram heard the voice from the phone that we handed him (on speaker), looked at it, looked at us, and immediately handed it to us. It was as if he was saying, “hey guys, this person is talking and you are the adults here, why do I have a phone?” As we talked to the interpreter, he said “hello” and other simple phrases in various languages from Africa, while we looked on and told the interpreter if Abram seemed to perk up at any of the languages. He never did.
Then, DHS called us. They had found Abram’s family and had figured out what happened, as well as developed a safety plan for his home. They were ready to return Abram to his parents, but they were wondering if it was alright for the DHS worker to bring Abram’s mom along when they came to pick him up. Of course we said “yes”, we wanted him to feel as safe and comfortable as possible, and if he didn’t speak English, it would be great for Mom to be able to explain what was going on. Over the phone, we quickly asked, “what happened? How old is he? What language does he speak?”. The answers put everything into perspective.
Abram was 5, a tall 5-year old, but definitely 5. He was from a refugee family who left Eritrea. It turns out, our initial instincts were correct, he was non-verbal autistic. The “words” he was speaking were not another language, they were his language. His family speaks English. According to his family and DHS, he had decided to go out on an adventure during the early morning rain storm, while his family was sleeping. As an immigrant family, his parents had no idea what to do when they realized their son was missing, but now, after being introduced to DHS, they are getting the services in place that Abram deserves and the family needs. They are being supported.
As Abram introduced his mom to our cat, and yelled at our dog, while his mom cried tears of joy, we considered this placement a successful reunification. The horrible situation allowed for a family to get the support they need, and their child returned safely. When Trevor came home, we told him about what happened when he was at respite.
His response? “I am glad he was here… but I don’t think I would have liked him”. Fair enough.
***This is the fifth post in a series documenting our experience having emergency placements. A link to other posts in this series is below***
Pt. 6 – Charles, 8 – Alyssa, 2
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