This was the first year that we have had kids in our home on Christmas. There was quite a lot of excitement and emotion in the days leading up to Christmas, along with discussions with Trevor* and Ariel* about what Christmas has been like for them in the past.  From what they told us, Santa never visited their home, but their parents did get them a lot of presents.  Although the holidays are often a wonderful time for most, for those who are away from their family or who have lost family members, it can bring up a lot of emotions. For our kids, it was no different.

One minute, they would be bouncing off the walls excited for presents from Santa, and the next they would be crying uncontrollably into a pillow because they were sad and didn’t want to talk to us about it. It was heartbreaking when their emotions would overcome them and they would scream at us that this wasn’t “their house”. To complicate things even more, they had a visit with their grandparents a couple days before Christmas, bringing up a lot of feelings.

For previous Christmases, we used to “adopt” families in need from Christmas Family Adoption, and provide them with items off of their wish list.  It was a lot of fun and really helped us get into the Christmas Spirit of giving. After doing this for a couple years, our parents wanted to help as well, which allowed us to “adopt” larger families and provide them with more support.  This year however, with two newish kids of our own in the home, Trevor (6-years old) and Ariel (8-years old), we felt that we didn’t have the capacity to “adopt” a family.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, much like those who are separated from a family member, we began to think a lot about Ava* (our first kiddo) and her family, and how much we wanted to see Ava for the holidays.  After discussing with our parents, we decided that we would like to have Christmas Eve with Ava and her family, and we all decided that since we were not “adopting” a family for Christmas, we would like to give gifts to Ava and her family.  Aaron’s parents offered to host the Christmas Eve gathering and provide food, and all of our family members and a few close friends contributed gifts to the family.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, much like those who are separated from a family member, we began to think a lot about Ava*

Christmas Eve

Our Christmas Eve was amazing! This was a very special day that we will not forget.  Ava (18-months), her mom, her dad, and her older brother (3-years old) joined us, with Trevor and Ariel, at Aaron’s parent’s house, along with Aaron’s brother and his girlfriend, and Jewell’s parents too.  It was a houseful of individuals brought together by love, kindness, thankfulness, compassion and empathy, and all of us sharing love for a very amazing little girl who has had a huge impact on all of us.

We ate food, played with kids, and talked. We talked trustingly and openly with each other. We talked as people with a common bond, a common goal, and a common hope.  Then we were able to give them their gifts. Ava and her brother received toys and clothes, and the family received gift cards to grocery stores, some fresh pairs of Nike shoes, clothes, diapers, and more to help them on their journey moving forward. Ava’s family even gave us a gift card to one of our favorite breweries, Hopworks, that we often went to with Ava when she was at our house.  It was an amazing gesture from them that meant a lot to us.  It was a beautiful day. Then, we headed home with overly excited kiddos to put out cookies for Santa. As we put them to bed, we made a double-pinky-promise to not jump out of bed and open presents before the adults get up.

It was an amazing gesture from them that meant a lot to us.  It was a beautiful day.

Christmas

Somehow, the kids managed to stay in bed until 7:45am, although they did peek into the living room and saw all of the presents.  The peeking led Ariel to have to go into the bathroom and scream with excitement.  There were a lot of presents, and they filled a large portion of our tiny living room. We may have gone overboard, but we were a little excited to have kids of our own to shop for this Christmas, and they also needed a lot of stuff. After unwrapping one present, Trevor was almost derailed from opening the rest of his gifts. He was so excited with the present he opened, and he wanted to play with it right then, oblivious that there were more presents waiting for him. We kept him on track though, and managed to open all the gifts. There was a lot of smiles, laughter, and jumping for joy, followed by bacon.

The holidays are supposed to be about spending time with family.  We are fortunate to live in the same city as both of our parents, and went to visit both of them on Christmas.  It took the kids about 30-minutes to decide which present they wanted to bring with them when we left the house, but we eventually got out the door.  First, we went to Aaron’s parent’s house for stockings and presents. Aaron’s parents gave us four of the Timber‘s Army “You Are Loved” scarf. It is a beautiful scarf that combines our love and passion for the Portland Timbers with our love and passion for children in foster care.   For each scarf purchased, the Timbers Army provides a child served in DHS programs one of these as well.

Next, we headed to Jewell’s parent’s house, to open more presents, and play with our god-daughter (22-months). From Aaron’s parents, Trevor had received a magic set, including top-hat, magic wand, cape, and a coin trick. After a couple hours of practice, he felt that the time was right to perform his magic act to the captive audience.  Following an introduction from Aaron, including a flickering of the lights, Trevor performed his 30-seconds of magic and the proceeded to walk around the room with his hat out, asking for tips.  We spent hours at Jewell’s parent’s house, playing with kids, talking with family, eating and generally being merry.

Exhausted from the last few days, and all Christmassed out, we headed back to our home to put on our new pajamas. We all quickly fell asleep, feeling loved, happy, and content.  As Ariel hugged us goodnight, she let us know that “this was the best Christmas she has had”.

It was an amazing holiday season that we are so thankful to be able to spend with our every growing modern foster family.

*All names of children have been changed to protect their privacy

Photos:

1. Before and after Santa visited our house
2. The Timber’s Army / DHS “You are Loved” Scarf